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Ask the Deaf Doula VI

It’s been a while but I want to drop in and say hi.

So many mothers reach out and tell me about their positive and negative or traumatic birth experiences. Supporting mothers to have better birth experiences is one of the main reasons I decided to learn everything about Doula’s work. I want to give back to women. I want to support women. To do that every day, I must continue to learn and share knowledge specific to those that I want to serve.

“Doulas cannot make promises about the outcomes of a mother’s birth”

There are a few common misconceptions I want to clear up about doula work in general. Although most doulas want their clients to have the birth they desire, doulas cannot make promises about the outcomes. Just like we do not make decisions (medical or otherwise) for the mother we are unable to predict outcomes.

Most birth stories heard from others or read about are not picture-perfect. Sometimes complications arise that require interventions. Sometimes you will end up having a cesarean when you had your heart set on a vaginal birth (with or without medication). Sometimes even when you have everything planned out things can still happen to cause your labor to go a complete different route. A doula is there to support you throughout that journey and to provide you the education so that you are prepared and ready to make those decisions when they do come up. Some of those decisions may be about internmittent monitoring of the baby, others may be about medications, or other options given to you by your providers.

Birth Goals

Having a birth plan is so important so that you know from the start what your goals are for the birth. Does it need to be a written out plan? No, it can be a foundational idea of what you do and do not want during birth and under specific circumstances what changes you will accept. From getting an epidural to having Pitocin, giving your baby the vitamin k shot or hearing screening test, these decisions are yours to make. When your birthing partner is exhausted from hours of labor and simply needs a break, doulas are there as part of the team.


There are some things I would certainly suggest to fathers, and you will be able to see those in my next Ask the Deaf Doula Blog Post, but just know that it is important that we help them be prepared for labor too.

***HINT: If you want your partner to provide you with hands-on and support you, they will need know-how. While you are pregnant, if they haven’t already, it’s important for your partner to learn how to comfort you when you are in pain, under stress, or physically exhausted. Get to training then now!

More to come on this soon.

Thank you, Salerno

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