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Ask the Deaf Doula V

As a first-time mom, what are some things you wish you would’ve known about birth?

  • I wish I would’ve known that I had complete control of the decision-making process and that all of my decisions had equal outcomes (favorable/adverse). One example is that I was turned away at the birth center after the baby already nurtured my waters, and I had driven over an hour to the birth center. We had to go to a local hotel. That did not make any sense to me at the time, and I wish I had known enough to say no to the midwife. That was a bad call. By the time we paid for a room, we were back there in “active labor,” and I could have ended up with unassisted labor and delivery with perilous unintended outcomes at a hotel due to that midwife’s decision.
  • Another thing I wish I had known as a first-time mother was how to have a shorter second stage of labor. My first labor was well over 12 hours, and looking back, if I had known the importance of giving into my body’s instincts, perhaps labor would have been shorter. I wish I would’ve taken more time to learn about different labor positions before giving birth so that I would’ve been knowledgeable about what could help the baby move along in the birth canal and what would help open up the pelvis and make space for the baby.

As an experienced mother, what were some things you still wish you would’ve known at your birth that you did not know?

  • For my last child (my daughter Ani almost 2years old) I had an unassisted home birth. I did not have a doctor or midwife at my home but I did, however, have prenatal care with a midwife. What I wish I knew prior to catching her is the importance of a mother being in an upright position during labor with weight forward whether on her knees or in a squat or even leaning forward over a tub edge so that the Rhombus of Michaelis is able to move.
  • This was the first, of my three births, that I did not birth in a tub in either a squatting position or at least with my weight forward. Both of my first and second I did this naturally. My third and last child I really hurt my back because, I suspect, my Rhombus Michaelis was unable to move as it was supposed to. I also struggled to deliver the placenta after the birth and to this day I continue to have issues with my lower back where the Rhombus of Michaelis is and it still protrudes. I now encourage all mothers to birth on their feet or in a forward weight position if they are wanting to birth naturally.

Have anymore questions? Please send the my way! As always – I enjoy sharing my insights. -Salerno

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