Doulas DO NOT replace your partners in the birthing support process
We are there to support you in birth as well as your birthing partners. We do not and cannot replace them. They have a role that is specific to them. Your partner knows you best, and they know what you need emotionally. We know birth. As a team, we make the best decisions to help mom during labor.
We can advocate for you but we DO NOT make decisions for you
Our role as advocates is to be sure that your rights are protected, you can voice your concerns and what you need as the birthing mother. We want to make sure you have access to the correct information to make those informed decisions. We cannot make any decisions for you. All we can do is remind you of your plan, wishes but you are responsible for your decisions in the end.
Doctors are not there for the labor
Doctors are there for the delivery of the baby. More times than I can remember, I’ve had moms tell me they did not get to birth with ‘their’ doctor because it was not their day (rotating schedule), they had another mother in delivery (this happens more than you think), or they were just not able to make it in time. Know this; doctors are not typically called into the delivery room until the baby head is engaged and you are ready to push, or if there are complications. Some doctors may be there when mom is at 10cm (regardless of when they are ready to push), but others do not come in until it is time for mom to push. Midwives often spend much more time with you, but they too may have to go ‘catch’ other babies, and some also have rotating schedules. Although Doulas do have backup Doulas, in the off chance we have another birth at the same time, we put ourselves “on-call” from 36 weeks and on.
We are there to support not judge
Your choices are your choices. If you want to birth without medication and decide later (during labor) that you want an epidural- we will support you. We will not stop you, but you may be better prepared for birth without medication or an epidural if you take suitable birthing classes. Birthing classes are something you might want to consider. There is only so much you can learn before giving birth the first time, and we will be sure you have the best resources to be educated in the possibilities. Know that birthing without medication requires good coping skills that need learn. Be sure you have a doctor/midwife who supports your birth plan and your choices not to be surprised by anything on delivery day. Standards of practice will remain how they are, so our suggestion is to be sure that they understand your expectations and goals before delivery and will not push back during the time you are most vulnerable (labor). Be sure to have all of those meaningful discussions with your provider before your last few weeks of pregnancy so that you are all on the same page and, if needed, can change providers.
Have any questions? Please reach out I’d love to chat with you! -Salerno